Here’s something to look forward to as you work the program of ACA.
The ACA Promises represent some of the rewards that we can expect from ACA and self-love. Within the Twelve Promises is the work of making healthier choices, setting boundaries, and discovering our real identities. There is also intimacy and feeling peaceful. We learn to not fear success. The Promises represent a balance of action, feeling, and being. This is the spiritual material that self-love is made from.
If we have been sincere about our recovery to this point we will have experienced many of these Promises already. For example, many of us began discovering our real identities at our first ACA meeting. This is the first Promise. We have learned to fear people less and how to set boundaries as Promises three and nine state. There is no time line on when we will experience an ACA Promise. The Promises are true. The Promises are:
- We will discover our real identities by loving and accepting ourselves.
- Our self-esteem will increase as we give ourselves approval on a daily basis.
- Fear of authority figures and the need to “people-please” will leave us.
- Our ability to share intimacy will grow inside us.
- As we face our abandonment issues, we will be attracted by strengths and become more tolerant of weaknesses.
- We will enjoy feeling stable, peaceful, and financially secure.
- We will learn how to play and have fun in our lives.
- We will choose to love people who can love and be responsible for themselves.
- Healthy boundaries and limits will become easier for us to set.
- Fears of failure and success will leave us, as we intuitively make healthier choices.
- With help from our ACA support group, we will slowly release our dysfunctional behaviors.
- Gradually, with our Higher Power’s help, we will learn to expect the best and get it.
from p. 442–443 of the Big Red Book