The Ultimate in Internal and External Boundaries!
An overview by Jim B, from our October 4, 2025, Fall SETXACA Intergroup Workshop, Building Better Boundaries!
It’s ALL About Boundaries: Internal & External! Jim B
1. Your inner community of self-help as you recover
This presentation is to give you an overview of ACA/C-PTSD, recovery tools that you may want to investigate, master, and practice. It’s a self-help approach to build a strong recovery in your whole being. It’s designed to augment additional professional assistance you may need. This is NOT intended to replace professional, clinical, or medical help. Rather it’s intended to give you a strong support base of fellow travellers and information to help you build your inner community of self-help as you grow into your recovery from C-PTSD.
2. What is C-PTSD…
Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) arises from repeated or prolonged trauma, such as ongoing abuse, neglect, or captivity. The effects of C-PTSD are often more pervasive, impacting not only emotional regulation but also relationships, self-identity, and overall quality of life. Those with C-PTSD often grapple with chronic feelings of helplessness, difficulty trusting others, and persistent emotional numbness.
3. Key aspects of C-PTSD in the US :
- Prevalence:
A study using the ICD definition found that about 3% of adults currently have PTSD. with an additional 4% of adults having Complex PTSD. There are approximately 267 million adults (age 18 and over) in the USA today. That would put the USA C-PTSD adult population at 10,680,000! There are many estimates available online, and they do vary. This one was in the middle of what I saw. - Causes:
CPTSD is often linked to experiences like long-term childhood abuse (physical or sexual), domestic violence, human trafficking, and war. These events often involve a betrayal of trust and a feeling of being trapped. - Symptoms:
CPTSD can manifest in various ways, including emotional dysregulation, difficulties with relationships, negative self-perception, and persistent feelings of emptiness or hopelessness. It can also involve physical symptoms like digestive issues, sleep disturbances, and heightened anxiety. - Treatment:
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), particularly trauma-focused CBT, is a common treatment approach for CPTSD. Exposure therapy, a part of trauma-focused CBT, can help individuals gradually confront and process traumatic memories and triggers. Medications like antidepressants, anti-anxiety medications, and sleep aids may also be used to manage specific symptoms.
4. C-PTSD vs PTSD
While both conditions stem from trauma, C-PTSD is characterized by a broader range of symptoms and a stronger emphasis on interpersonal relationships and self-perception. PTSD is primarily focused on re-experiencing the traumatic event, avoidance, and hyperarousal.
Important note: If you are struggling with symptoms of C-PTSD, it’s crucial to seek professional help from a mental health specialist and keep reading this paper.
5. Your inner community of self-help as you recover
This presentation is to give you an overview of C-PTSD recovery tools that you may want to investigate, master, and practice. It’s a self-help approach to build a strong recovery in your whole being. It’s designed to augment additional professional assistance you may need. This is NOT intended to replace professional clinical or medical help. Rather it’s intended to give you a strong support base of fellow travellers and information to help you build your inner community of self-help as you grow into your recovery from C-PTSD/ACA.
6. Tools for C-PTSD Recovery
Literature – Note: We’ve got a variety of reading material for you here, today. Be sure to check it out! We sell it at our cost.
- Adult Children of Alcoholics A primary and foundational text for recovery! This is a Comprehensive basic text that builds a foundation for recovery from family systems dysfunction. I’d recommend Starting with Appendix A on page 621 as it sets the stage for how this program works and how to approach the process of working through a 600+ page text on the subject.
- Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, by Pete Walker. The ultimate textbook, so far, which intricately and understandably relates the intricacies of C-PTSD, how to see it in yourself and others (family, coworkers, friends, and the myriad of people you come across each day), and how to deal with it internally to overcome the immense pile of difficulties it puts upon us. NOTE: You’ll likely benefit by getting the digital recording of the book, too. I listen to it over and over through the weeks: when I’m walking, driving, or attending to a mundane task that allows my attention to be elsewhere.
- Workbook for Complex PTSD, by Pete Walker. We use this in study groups once we’ve finished our initial read/study of the book, Complex PTSD: from Surviving to Thriving.
- I recommend getting a copy of the audiobook for Workbook for Complex PTSD, by Pete Walker. I listen to it regularly when I’m walking or driving. I need to be reminded and reinforced. At my age, I need plenty of refreshers!
- Find (or start your own!) ACA / C-PTSD meetings, in person or online.
- Organize an ACA book study meeting in your area for yourself and fellow travellers, to study the book Complex PTSD: from Surviving to Thriving. Announce your plan to start a meeting and ask those who are interested to give you their contact info. Then try to find a time and place where you can all get together to decide how you want to organize your meeting. Be sure to discuss whether you want the meeting to be in-person or online.
7. Some Internet Resources to check out…
ACA’s Home Office adultchildren.org is home to a meeting finder that brings us more C-PTSD/ACA meetings, online and/or live, each month! (Hint: Search keyword “PTSD”, at the meeting finder page to get the most viable results. You can also search “C-PTSD” and “CPTSD” as newer meetings are coming online monthly.)
Social Media. There are Facebook groups and other social media groups popping up all over. Many can be overwhelming as there are so many people coming in with no recovery and no solid support from fellow travellers. But there are many good ones out there. AND, don’t be shy! Start your own C-PTSD live, online meeting and invite your fellow travellers to join you. Most of us know many fellow travellers who are diving in, too. So talk it up at your meetings and see who wants to join in.
Start or join in an online C-PTSD discussion meeting or Book Study meeting. More and more, we’re seeing new book study meetings starting up. What’s coming up next will be discussion meetings hosting open discussions on topics related to C-PTSD recovery in ACA. Be sure to list your meeting/s with your area ACA Intergroup and the home office at AdultChildren.org.
Therapy – Therapy resources available for us. When interviewing a possible therapist, here are some questions you might want to ask to be sure they know this subject (Listen carefully and take notes to discuss further with them.):
- What’s your professional training experience for working with C-PTSD treatment and recovery?
- How many clients have you served who were working on their C-PTSD? How successful have they been?
- What’s the most important thing to achieve when working with C-PTSD clients?
- What recovery program/s, 12-step or otherwise, have you begun and/or continue to work for yourself?
- If you identify with C-PTSD for yourself, what have you done to work through your own C-PTSD recovery process?
- Ask for references.
8. OK, what’s with this “triggered” buzzword?
In mental health, being “triggered” refers to experiencing an intense emotional reaction or physiological response, along with other physical, mental, and emotional reactions that vary from person to person and incident to incident) to a specific stimulus or situation that reminds the individual of a past traumatic event and which you may not consciously connect to those past traumatic events.
Triggers can vary widely and may include:
- Sensory experiences: Sounds, smells, sights, tastes, or touch
- Situations: Specific places, events, or conversations
- Emotional states: Feeling anxious, fearful, or distressed
- Symbols or images: Objects, words, or gestures that represent the trauma
When someone is triggered, they may experience:
- Flashbacks or intrusive thoughts
- Emotional distress, such as anger, fear, or sadness
- Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn responses to the situation
- Physical symptoms, such as sweating, palpitations, or difficulty breathing
- Changes in behavior, such as avoidance, withdrawal, or aggression
9. My particular case study: Jim B’s Road to Complex-PTSD Recovery, in a nutshell.
I am in recovery from C-PTSD, today. While I began formal Complex-PTSD recovery three years ago, or so, my road to recovery actually began on December 25, 1976. That was when I began recovering from some of the things that I’d used to deal with, or treat, my C-PTSD.
My attempts at self-treatment were via drinking alcohol, taking drugs, numerous food addictions and eating disorders, nicotine addiction, addiction to dysfunctional relationships (interpersonal and work), and Al-Anon-ism.
Those things were solutions I’d developed to try to make me feel better and/or block out the horrific stuff that was still haunting me from my childhood. They all worked… for a while. But they all eventually threatened to kill me!
There was no ACA then. There was no concept of C-PTSD then. And I spent decades actively pursuing further recovery in many programs and have lots of personal therapy from professionals. All along, I was getting better, but never getting well.
I continue to get well-er (my own word) via all those efforts and via working my own ACA and ACA/C-PTSD recovery program. Recovering Couples Anonymous (RCA) has also become a primary program for me and others like me for surrendering old ideas about relationships and giving us tools to live in healthy coupleships. (more later)
These days I attend meetings weekly in 4 programs: ACA, C-PTSD, AA, and Al-Anon.
I am happy in my C-PTSD recovery today! My C-PTSD recovery supports and permeates ALL of my other recovery programs. listed In approximate chronological order
- Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), began 1976
- Al-Anon, began 1976
- Narcotics Anonymous (NA), began 1976
- Overeaters Anonymous (OA), began 1981
- Nicotine Anonymous (NA), began 1982
- Adult Children of Alcoholics and Other Dysfunctions (ACA) 1984, 2003, 2023
- CoDependents Anonymous (CoDA), began 2013
- Recovering Couples Anonymous (RCA) began 2014
- … and my PhD in Recovery, C-PTSD/ACA, which began in 2023 Note: This isn’t a 12-step program, yet. But I’m working on it and I’m sure bunches of other fellow travellers are, too.
My Ongoing Recovery, NOW: Each week I attend 1 or 2 C-PTSD meetings, 1 or 2 ACA meetings, 1 Al-Anon meeting, and 1 AA meeting, and 1 RCA meeting to maintain and grow in my recovery. (I only attend 1 in-person recovery meeting a week. FYI The rest are via Zoom.)
More About Diet and Exercise: My eating disorders are in recovery today, too. My recovery from C-PTSD wouldn’t have been possible without transitioning to a completely healthy diet and exercise regime that massively supports my C-PTSD recovery. By adapting to and adhering to a deliciously wholesome, Whole Food Plant Based diet and maintaining a daily exercise regime (Search the plethora of exercise studies at Nutrition Facts.org!)! It’s completely backed by huge amounts of real research. www.NutritionFacts.org, has several thousand videos on the subject… ALL ARE FREE!
I recommend you start with this video: The top 15 ways we die and the diet that helps.
For one of the largest legit studies on diet and health, check out the book, The China Study, by T. Colin Campbell and his son, Thomas M. Campbell II. The Most Comprehensive Study of Nutrition Ever Conducted and the Startling Implications for Diet, Weight Loss and Long-term Health is a book by T. Colin Campbell and his son, Thomas M. Campbell II. The book argues for health benefits of a whole food plant-based diet. Wikipedia. The author has many videos where he discusses the study and it’s meaning. Here’s a strong, foundational video on the subject, The China Study.
Or call me to discuss, if you like. I’m an expert on my own health now, rather than guessing what normal is or drowning in my junk food! All of the above things I’m sharing were what it took for me. You may need your own road map to clear out the various addictions and inner-road-blocks you’ve put up to deal with your own Complex-PTSD
10. Support on your road to health: physical, mental, emotiional, and spiritual.
You don’t have to do this on your own. Nor do you need to sprint… just take it a day at a time.
The section above, on diet and exercise has presented you with a lot of info. I undertook that effort over a bunch of years, not overnight. Those efforts allowed me to remove 6 or 7 chronic illnesses from my medical chart, plus 126 pounds of C-PTSD-inspired fat along with numerous pollutants, from my body!. I’m now in the best shape I’ve been in over 30 years!
Dear one, please take the time to find your way: When eating a 40 pound watermelon, take one bite at a time!! I presented this to you in hopes that it might inspire you to consider all of your own elements that helped develop your very particular C-PTSD. You can do this! Remember, you don’t have to do this alone! Now you have a better picture/map of where and how to look for that help.
11. In Conclusion
If you’re new to C-PTSD recovery, please know that you don’t have to do this on your own. Nor do you need to sprint… just do the best you can, each day, one day at a time. Read C-PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, slowly. Stock up on highlighters! Start or find a book study group online or in your local area ACA community. As you’re finishing that book study, find a C-PTSD/ACA meeting to attend or start your own! Many of your fellow travellers in the book study will likely want to join, too.
It takes time and effort to put it all together. The great news is that each new bit of info about your own C-PTSD takes you further up and out of the ashes of whatever horrors you’ve been dealt. You’re still here! You’ve got a clearer picture of the problem and you’re off into the solutions as you move forward from today.
Build your own support group of fellow travellers and walk with them through those amazing days ahead of you!
Pass along what you’ve learned to those coming along behind you! They need a guide who knows the way out of this abyss called C-PTSD. They need guides and the experience of those who have a map, a flashlight, and enough recovery to guide them along the way!
I’m truly grateful for each amazing day of my life, from conception through today! And I’m grateful to have found and followed the breadcrumb path laid before me by my HP up the circuitous route of recovery that has been and will hopefully continue to be my wonderful life path!
In loving recovery,
Jim Be
12. Handouts: Complex PTSD: Problem & Solutions
Handout 1: Toolbox 5- Self Gratitudes and Toolbox 6- Gratitudes about Others, from the Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, pages 326-331 – Self Gratitudes 12×12.
Toolboxes 5 and 6 are located on the last few pages of the book. We’ve provided worksheets similar to these 2 toolboxes to use as worksheets. Fill them in, yourself. Feel free to ask for help if need be, from understanding friends, family, and fellow travellers. Keep these lists nearby. When you become aware that you’re triggered, pull them out and read them quietly to yourself or silently.
This gives us a simple exercise to help pull us out of triggered states. Once triggered, our rational mind goes on vacation while our 4F brain, consisting of one or more of the 4 elements: Fight , Fright, Freeze, and/or Fawn) takes over.
These can be major or minor acting outs. Sometimes they’re only visible within ourselves and other times they’re also on display for those around us to experience. It’s from our primal instincts for survival.
a. Handout 1 “Gratitudes About Others” and “Self Gratitudes”
These handouts will become an ongoing tool to remind you of all the wonderful examples of supportive, nurturing, loving, caring, and giving people, pets, friends, groups, and nurturing memories you’ve had. The Self Gratitudes list will remind you of what a wonderful person you are and how talented and capable you are. Then, when you’re triggered, simply pull the out and read through them, out loud or to yourself, depending on your safety. Taken together, these 2 worksheets give us tools to overcome triggers and triggered states. You might even want to read them aloud with calming meditation music in the background for a more serene effect.
B. Handout 2: 13 Steps for Flashback Management
Pages 332-334 – 13 Steps for Managing Flashbacks. When we’re triggered, our instinctual brain takes over with the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response. If/When we can interrupt the process with this script, we can disrupt the inner takeovers quicker. The handouts are for you to fill out and use when you’re triggered. Get into a quiet, safe place and pull this list out and read it to yourself, out loud or quietly to yourself.
13. Digging into your own ACA/C-PTSD recovery… some ideas to get you going!
- Share with like-minded others:EXERCISE: You’re meeting fellow travellers here, today, who are working on their own C-PTSD issues. Let’s open up the meeting for a few minutes of sharing. I’d like to hear from those of you who are currently working on C-PTSD in recovery and from those who are ready to begin working on your C-PTSD recovery.
- Each table has some blank index cards and pens. Let’s take five minutes to fill out some of them with your contact info.
- Now is the time to stand up and be heard… if you are willing and able. Each person gets a minute or so to stand up and be heard. Simply let us know your first name and if you are ready to meet others and begin working on your C-PTSD recovery, now.
- Look around at who’s standing up. We’ll give a few minutes to just check in briefly with one another and maybe exchange contact info. And, I’m here to share my contact info, too.. (PAUSE to let the process happen how it will) 5-10 minutes, mostly unstructured.
- Recovering Couples Anonymous (RCA) RCA is a 12-step program where couples work a coupleship program together. I got started over 8 years ago with my partner and it gave me the relationship tools and resources for a healthy relationship. It supplanted the horrific family of origin that shaped my life and gave me the tools to be an effective, loving, committed partner. It’s a 12-step program where couples work the steps together, as a couple. I bet there are at least 40 pages in that big book of theirs, Recovering Couples Anonymous, that mention the relationship of troubles within coupleships to our “Family of Origin Issues!” Yep. It’s a great program to learn about healing our abilities to form and grow healthy primary relationships, to finally get the tools for happy, healthy, loving, nurturing relationships. I didn’t get a drop of any of that in my family of origin. But I’ve re-worked my skills and abilities and have enjoyed a coupleship beyond my wildest dreams.
- Find them at https://recovering-couples.org/ or call, text, email, or write to me for more info, any time. While I’d worked all those other 12-step programs, my major “stuff” that I brought into my relationships all came from my ACA / C-PTSD family of origin “stuff.”
- For more info: Go to their web site or contact me any time. https://recovering-couples.org/
14. Moving Forward from Today, Checklist of some thoughts to spark your creative recovery.
- Get a hard copy of C-PTSD: From Surviving To Thriving, by Pete Walker.
- Search Adult Children dot org Meeting Finder for meetings using keywords: PTSD, CPTSD, and/or C-PTSD.
- Search social media that you are familiar with for key words like: PTSD, CPTSD, C-PTSD, Pete Walker.
- Finish what we’ve started today by finishing your paperwork.
- Call your ACA sponsor to discuss options or consider getting a C-PTSD / ACA sponsor
- Bring the subject of C-PTSD up at all your regular meetings, as a suggested topic.
- You can ask other FT’s to share their Experience, Strength, and Hope regarding C-PTSD/ACA at meetings you attend and let them know you want to pursue this further.
- Ask all your fellow travellers if they know of any meetings for C-PTSD/ACA or if they would like to help start one with you.
- There are book study groups, in person, in our area… ask around about them. Check it out and let them know what you’ve learned here today and ask to join them.
15. INDIVIDUAL AND/OR GROUP MEDITATION from Pete Walker’s book
Meditation to Manage Triggered Flashbacks
We’ll start with a meditation adapted from Pete Walker’s 13 Steps of Emotional Flashback Management.
(…Pause…)
Say aloud, “I am having a flashback.”
(…Pause…)
Let the words sink into your body. Past memories cannot hurt you.
(…Pause…)
Say aloud, “I feel afraid, but I am not in any danger. I am safe,
now, in the present.”
(…Pause…)
Let yourself grieve the moments, days, or decades you didn’t realize you weren’t in any danger.
(…Pause…)
Own your right, own your need to have boundaries.
(…Pause…)
You are FREE.
(…Pause…)
Feel the freedom settle into your body.
(…Pause…)
You are no longer stuck in dangerous situations.
(…Pause…)
Nor must you accept unfair treatment.
(…Pause…)
Speak compassionately with your inner children. They need to know that they are loved unconditionally.
(…Pause…)
End eternity thinking. Being stuck in fear and abandonment is in the past.
(…Pause…)
Nothing lasts forever.
(…Pause…)
Remind yourself that you are in an adult body.
(…Pause…)
You have allies.
(…Pause…)
You have skills.
(…Pause…)
You have tools to protect you that you did not have as a child.
(…Pause…)
Ease back into your body.
(…Pause…)
Ask your body to relax.
(…Pause…)
Become aware of the breath.
(…Pause…)
Slow your breath, heart, mind.
(…Pause…)
Now…become aware of any feelings of fear … without reacting to it.
(…Pause…)
Resist catastrophizing.
(…Pause…)
Halt exaggeration.
(…Pause…)
Refuse to shame, hate or abandon yourself.
(…Pause…)
Channel the anger into saying NO to the inner critic.
(…Pause…)
Replace negative judgement with positive qualities or characteristics.
(…Pause…)
Grieve. For this flashback to become less, we must grieve the egregious events of our past.
(…Pause…)
Validate and then soothe the inner child’s experience of hopelessness and helplessness.
(…Pause…)
Now is the time for self-compassion and self-protection.
(…Pause…)
Feel this wash through the body. {long pause up to a minute}
(…Pause…)
Take a long, deep, calming breath
(…Pause…)
Now, come back to this meeting, centered and refreshed.
Pause…)
This is the end of the meditation and the presentation.
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